Ridding Yourself of Assumptions

Jun 15, 2020

What if you saw things just as they are? I mean without an assumption or a dreamy assumption that you created about this thing?

I will give you an example. I am a type “A” personality. An overachiever they say! And when people wouldn't show up just the way I do, I would assume they are lazy or unmotivated. If they didn't show up for every training and missed one, I would doubt their passion for the task. The worst is that I would assume this to be true and actually carry this perception of them around with me, not knowing the actual truth.

It is interesting to see how our mind plays tricks on us based on our own experiences. We look at the world through our own lens and experiences. Just close your eyes and imagine this as something that you are thinking about - what if you just looked at it for “what it is.” 

If you think about your past assumptions, how many of them were not true? And how much energy did you waste thinking they were true?

Is it possible to learn not to judge or assume? I would say, Yes! Just like it is possible to choose happy or sad, or fear or gratitude. It’s a practice.

I can tell you from the experience of being a Salon Owner for the past 20 years that I have had the wrong perception of something several times. And in most cases, it was because I was expecting a different outcome based on my own experience.

By doing this I would then build this story and as my relationship with them grew I would hold this against them and if they missed another training it was as though I was building an arsenal of judgment against them. Mind you, I never even had the conversation asking them “WHY”.

As a coach and a mentor,  I’m embarrassed to say that this was me at one time. I realize now that I didn’t have the awareness to not assume and the ability to ask better questions and the wisdom to accept what is.

I could have asked: What is holding you back from coming to the class? Do you find the content I teach irrelevant to your growth? How can I support you better in this area?

Based on my new level of awareness, I search for the truth. How can I find out more? What are some questions I can ask? How can I get more curious about this situation so that I can find out what is really going on so that I can coach this person to have an awareness of their growth?

I found this quote on google and though I couldn't find who wrote it, I thought it was brilliant.

Before you assume, try this crazy method called, “asking”

What questions can you be asking that would contribute to your growth around assumptions? 

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